I will soon undergo a major surgery. It is needed, as it will help to restore my mobility. Nonetheless, it is a major surgery and my family is reasonably concerned. As the date draws closer, I am seeing the effects of anxiety in my children. This is not the first time in recent history we have had cause for anxiety. In the last year and a half I have had spinal surgery and then had to contend with an infection at the surgical site. Our oldest boy had to be rushed to the ER with a crazily high blood glucose level. We learned that he has type 1 diabetes, which meant things changed for him and for us quite precipitously. Then my hip started "going out" on me,planting me in a wheelchair or on crutches at the drop of a hat.
Needless to say, anxiety gets the best of us every once in a while. How do kids tell you they are anxious? Difficulty getting to sleep, being clingy, losing their temper easily, giving up easily. They may express their concern in the things they write or in the things they draw, the style of music they choose to play, listen to, or compose.
How do you help them get a handle on it?
1) Be there. Be willing to listen without judgement, and be available. They will often tell you how they feel and what they think is happening.
2) Be honest. Tell them what is going on, what they can do to make things go well for your family, and most of all reassure them that you are going to get through it! If your children are teens, let them know exactly what is going on. They have some clue, I guarantee it. Having accurate information will help them to be less fearful.
3) Give them things to do. Helping prepare for big events and big changes will decrease your child's anxiety about the new experience. Empower them, and fear will not overtake them.
4) Organize. If things are disorganized, it contributes to a feeling of being out of control. Get things organized in your home. Help them organize their things and make sure they know where everything is. An organized environment feels easier to control, and will minimize anxiety over little things.
5) Obtain tools to help them with any anxiety they feel and make sure they are accessible. A great idea the pediatrician gave us to have stress balls handy. If expressing anxiety at the moment is inappropriate, the stress ball gives them an outlet. Consider getting sketch books and colored pencils, blank journals and colored pens and highlighters, as well as card making supplies. Let them choose a creative outlet.
6) Consider getting some gently calming herbal teas or maybe a special hot chocolate with calming herbs for bedtime.
7) Seventh on this list, but probably the most important, pray with your children. Give them plenty of time to voice their prayer intentions. Help them offer up their concerns to God in prayer.
8) Don't be afraid to ask a professional for help. We mentioned what is going on to our pediatrician, who talked to our child and offered him strategies to manage his anxiety. He assessed him to determine if other interventions might be needed. The best adjusted child may sometimes need help processing feelings.
As we move forward, I know that things will work out, and that as a strong family, we will help each other through emotional rough patches. I hope that what I have learned and am continuing to learn will help other families navigate difficult times.
Needless to say, anxiety gets the best of us every once in a while. How do kids tell you they are anxious? Difficulty getting to sleep, being clingy, losing their temper easily, giving up easily. They may express their concern in the things they write or in the things they draw, the style of music they choose to play, listen to, or compose.
How do you help them get a handle on it?
1) Be there. Be willing to listen without judgement, and be available. They will often tell you how they feel and what they think is happening.
2) Be honest. Tell them what is going on, what they can do to make things go well for your family, and most of all reassure them that you are going to get through it! If your children are teens, let them know exactly what is going on. They have some clue, I guarantee it. Having accurate information will help them to be less fearful.
3) Give them things to do. Helping prepare for big events and big changes will decrease your child's anxiety about the new experience. Empower them, and fear will not overtake them.
4) Organize. If things are disorganized, it contributes to a feeling of being out of control. Get things organized in your home. Help them organize their things and make sure they know where everything is. An organized environment feels easier to control, and will minimize anxiety over little things.
5) Obtain tools to help them with any anxiety they feel and make sure they are accessible. A great idea the pediatrician gave us to have stress balls handy. If expressing anxiety at the moment is inappropriate, the stress ball gives them an outlet. Consider getting sketch books and colored pencils, blank journals and colored pens and highlighters, as well as card making supplies. Let them choose a creative outlet.
6) Consider getting some gently calming herbal teas or maybe a special hot chocolate with calming herbs for bedtime.
7) Seventh on this list, but probably the most important, pray with your children. Give them plenty of time to voice their prayer intentions. Help them offer up their concerns to God in prayer.
8) Don't be afraid to ask a professional for help. We mentioned what is going on to our pediatrician, who talked to our child and offered him strategies to manage his anxiety. He assessed him to determine if other interventions might be needed. The best adjusted child may sometimes need help processing feelings.
As we move forward, I know that things will work out, and that as a strong family, we will help each other through emotional rough patches. I hope that what I have learned and am continuing to learn will help other families navigate difficult times.
